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Find a valuable situation
If you are the one starting the exercise, find a small or large experience that you found positive, valuable and important for your relationship. It could be a conversation, a touch, an activity, a special situation. Take some time to find the right moment and describe it to your partner, briefly and concretely, so your partner can remember it. Make sure you confirm that your partner can remember the situation.
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Listen to the question – and the answer
Have your partner ask the following questions and answer after each one: What did you appreciate about me? What did you appreciate about yourself? What did you feel? Why was that moment valuable to you? What does it say about us as a couple?
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Switch roles
Once all questions are answered, switch roles and the questioner tells about their golden moment and the other party asks the questions from before. Just remember to describe the moment first so the other person can remember it, without getting into why it’s so precious. It will come out when the questions are answered.
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What was it like?
Once you’ve both been through the Q&A, ask each other the question: What is it like to share a golden moment like that, and what do we particularly notice? Often you’ll find that it was intense and heartfelt and brought new knowledge about the things that matter to either one or both of you. But remember: At sætte grænser i et forhold! You realise how much value small moments have for the overall well-being and sense of belonging and love.
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Stay on track
This exercise may seem a little awkward when doing it at home without a therapist and you may feel like commenting or adding something when the other person is talking, but try to stick to the guidance as the structure and calmness makes sense. And make it a fun loving event to share the golden moments and what you appreciate about each other because it cements the relationship and strengthens the love between you.
